Pamela Wade follows in Hillary Clinton's footsteps at a famous US hotel
Check in: Surrounded by quantities of marble, elaborate flower arrangements, thick Persian carpets underfoot, huge crystal chandelier, a sweeping staircase — if you're going to have a disaster, this is the right place. For Hillary Clinton, it was losing the election. For me, it was merely a missing booking. Murmuring, solicitous staff sorted my problem in minutes. Hillary was less lucky.
Room: A Deluxe corner suite, it had just the three rooms, including an elegantly decorated sitting room and separate bedroom. Of course, Hillary would probably have gone for the fancy six-room Peninsula Suite up top.
Price: The cheapest rooms start around $1000; but it was just over $6000 a night for the Deluxe. Hooray for upgrades on complimentary accommodation. For Hillary, special price.
The bed: If only I had the resolution to undo all that neatly tucked-in smooth linen bedding, I would have looked for the manufacturer's name, because this bed was a marvel. So soft. So comfortable. It was more of an embrace than a bed. And huge, squashy pillows, ideal for soaking up tears.
The bathroom: There is a television over the marble bath — so, no escape for Hillary from the media onslaught.
The toiletries: Oscar de la Renta, exclusive to the Peninsula group. If you could bear not to take it home, your partially used cake of soap would be donated to the Clean the World foundation.
The view: Overlooking Fifth Avenue, with a peep of Central Park, that's Manhattan down there with all the buzz that goes with it — though none that you can hear. Equally, no-one down there can hear your moans of despair.
What's so good about it? You have to ask? It's the Peninsula. Classy, refined but not stuffy, every need met — except if you're Hillary with an after-party all set up and nothing to celebrate.
And the bad? Um. At breakfast, there was no lemon with my Earl Grey? And, for Hillary, the proximity of the gaudy, glitzy Trump Tower, just a block away (this was not a coincidence).
What's in the neighbourhood? Down below is Fifth Avenue, with Tiffany's across the street along with a host of shiny department stores. Central Park is nearby, so is MoMA, and Times Square is a short stroll away. This is the heart of Manhattan.
Food and drink: Sophisticated classic American at Clement, afternoon tea at the Gotham Lounge, or something special at the rooftop Salon de Ning. But keep away from the edge, Hillary!
Exercise facilities: Gym and pool with all the stuff, plus views; and a spa. So you can run to exhaustion, or drift off in scented darkness, whatever you need to escape the turmoil inside your head.
Perfect for: Celebrating your presidential victory over an orange abomination almost within sight of his phallic glass monstrosity. Shame that didn't work out ...
Would I return? You have to ask? Hillary may, however, feel differently.
CHECKLIST
The Peninsula New York is at 700 Fifth Avenue and 55th Street, New York, USA. Phone: +1 212 956 2888.