Kylie Wihapi funeral: Husband’s moving tribute to Porirua Deputy Mayor after fatal fall
Kylie Wihapi’s husband has remembered the 45-year-old as a “one in a million” person who wasn’t afraid to put the men in her life in their place, as mourners gathered for the Porirua Deputy Mayor’s funeral a week after her sudden death following a fall.
“She had so much to give to so many people and wanted nothing in return except that you give your best back, or watch out, you were in trouble – believe me, me and Cooper found out first-hand,” Adam Wihapi told mourners at Te Rauparaha Arena in Porirua this morning.
Flanked by the couple’s son Cooper and his son Arama, Adam Wihapi told mourners his wife “loved animals so much she would always tell me and Cooper ... ‘In this house, my animals come first before you guys’.
“I still wonder today if she meant it.”
He saw “a lot of love and respect” today for his wife.
“Porirua is going to miss her and I’m so proud that she is my wife. She is a fantastic mother to Arama and Cooper, and the perfect wife.”
Wihapi’s sunflower-topped coffin was carried into the service to the sound of Turn the Page by her favourite band, Metallica, and a traditional Māori welcome. The coffin arrived after her tangihanga at Horouta Marae, which began on Thursday.
The married mum suffered a fatal fall in a freak accident at home early last Saturday morning, Porirua Mayor Anita Baker earlier told the Herald.
Her “Porirua through and through” deputy was someone who “just got on and did things”, whether that be organising health, animal and community fundraising, supporting schoolkids and the elderly, backing businesses or joining a Rotary club with members decades older, Baker told mourners today.
“Coach, mentor, employer, organiser, supporter, Kylie seemed to do everything.”
Wihapi made history as the first person elected in Porirua’s Māori ward and was deputy mayor for the past four years.
As her deputy, Wihapi was “my rock … reliable to the core”, except with the deputy mayoral chains, Baker said.
“She was forever misplacing [them] … she hated wearing them. That was something about her. Kylie understood that public service isn’t about the chains or the photos or the title … it’s about what you actually do for people.”
The deputy mayor’s mumMarlene told mourners her daughter’s death had left “a massive hole in my life and an empty space in my heart”.
“No parent should lose a child ... but it’s happened, and she’ll be flicking me in the back of the ear and saying, ‘Mum, get on with it’.”
She’d been amazed at the scope and depth of her daughter’s relationships and connections, and the stories people had shared.
“Please keep them coming. I’ve lost my baby girl.”
Her daughter was born “bright-eyed and present, and look[ing] like she’d always been in this world, and that she had a lot of work to do”.
She’d loved family, community and animals, and her parents were grateful for the support their son-in-law gave Wihapi.
“Right from the beginning and right through her whole public life. She knew that she had a safe place to land and a person that she trusted.”
‘She was perfect’
Wihapi’s father Rob remembered his daughter’s arrival only a few minutes after he and her mum arrived at Kenepuru Hospital, with the doctor running late and only the couple and their midwife present.
“We delivered her. She was perfect.”
As she grew up, their daughter realised her younger brother – diagnosed with early infantile autism – was different from other kids.
“She became his second mum, with compassion and understanding way beyond her years. She fiercely protected him from the bullies and the ignorant, facing up to people twice her size and dressing them down.
“This was the beginning of her empathy for the less fortunate and the underprivileged of her community and the world.”
Earlier, Reverend Pania Houkamau-Ngaheu began the service by telling mourners to “turn to each person ... tell them how gorgeous they look ... touch them on the shoulder”.
“That’s what we want to see, to hear today. Love and laughter, some tears, caring and giving. The qualities of Kylie. The personality of Kylie.”
Messages of “absolute aroha” had come from around the country.
“She was just a super being, a super daughter, super granddaughter, super sister, super cousin, and yes she was the best wife to a loving and devoted husband, and their son and their fur-babies.”
Those gathered included Wihapi’s “fur-baby”, Houkamau-Ngaheu said.
“He’s down over here with his blankie, and he will be feeling it too. Her absence, just as we all are.”
Wellington Free Ambulance confirmed it was called to Wihapi’s address about 8.30am last Saturday at the request of police but were stood down before attending.
Civic leaders, workmates and community groups from across the region have been united in disbelief at Wihapi’s shock death.
Wihapi’s son attended Paremata School and she was on the board of trustees for six years. They said it was a privilege to have Wihapi as part of the school whānau.
Other schools from across the city extended their condolences, with Mana College saying, “her positive energy and commitment to our kura and that of Porirua will always be remembered”.
Whitby Collegiate shared memories of Wihapi on the netball court and said she always brought “wonderful energy and enthusiasm” to school events.
“Kylie was a much-loved supporter of our school and a passionate champion of our rangatahi.”
The Kapi Mana Netball Centre said she was an integral part of the local netball community.
“She wasn’t just a valued umpire, but also a great coach of more than one team with Aotea College and Norths Netball, an advocate for our younger athletes, strong community advocate and a friend to many.”
The Paremata Plimmerton Rugby Football Club, where Wihapi’s son played, said their hearts were broken for her family.
Councillor Geoff Hayward has been appointed Porirua’s new deputy mayor, with the Wihapi whānau’s blessing.
“I know this feels like indecent haste; it certainly does to me,” Baker said at a meeting on Thursday, before explaining the move was necessary to continue the council’s representation on external bodies and its existing functions.
Hayward told Local Democracy Reporting he was honoured to serve as deputy mayor and would be thinking about Wihapi a lot.
“I can only think of myself as a custodian because Kylie should be doing this job, and I’m sad that she’s not here to be able to do it.”
Traffic management is in place for this morning’s service and Porirua City Council is advising those attending to be aware of pressure in the Arena carpark.
“Please remember that all street parking is free on weekends, as well as the council parking lots on Hagley St. Parking at the railway station and walking to the Arena is another good option.”
Wihapi’s shock death came months after fellow councillor Mike Duncan died suddenly in June after a daily workout.