A little less judgment, a little more kindness – Editorial
The rise of social media has given us unprecedented access to other people’s lives. It has also created a culture where many feel entitled to comment on every decision and every aspect of someone else’s life.
Free speech is one thing. Relentless criticism of people simply trying to do their best is another.
A recent NZ Herald story highlighted the issue perfectly.
A mother of five shared a video of herself exercising late at night with her 5-month-old daughter nearby. The baby spent most of the workout sleeping in a pram. When she became unsettled, her mother placed her in a baby carrier and continued walking on a treadmill.
What followed was predictable: a flood of criticism.
Some claimed it was unsafe. Others questioned her judgment and imagined worst-case scenarios if she fell.
But what is the difference between walking on a treadmill with a baby in a carrier and carrying the same child around the house or down the street? Baby carriers are widely used by parents every day.
Then came criticism of the timing. Commenters questioned why she was exercising after 9pm instead of during the day. Some suggested she should simply go for a walk outside. Others accused her of setting unrealistic expectations for mothers. Some even wondered why the baby’s father was not caring for the infant.
The common thread was assumption.
People were making sweeping judgments based on a short video clip. A few seconds of footage became enough for strangers to decide how someone should parent, exercise and organise family life.
What many forget is that social media provides only a snapshot. Viewers do not know what happened before or after the camera started rolling. They do not know whether nighttime exercise is the mother’s only chance to focus on her own wellbeing. They do not know what arrangements work best for that family.
In short, they do not know enough to judge.
Thankfully, not all comments were negative. Many people praised the mother for finding a way to look after herself while also caring for her child.
And that is really the point. There is no universal formula for parenting, fitness or life. What works well for one family may not work for another.
Life is challenging enough without a chorus of online commentators analysing every decision.
Perhaps we would all be better off remembering a simple lesson: if you do not have something kind to say, maybe it is best not to say anything at all.