Matt Heath: Exercise and rhyming is all about the timing
OPINION:
What is Rhyme Time Fitness? Its exercise rhymed with time. In our busy 2023 lives, finding time for a formal workout can be challenging. Luckily there are exercises you can do anywhere. Simply assign a time, make up a rhyme to help you remember what to do, and then do it.
RTF isn’t about replacing your big formal exercise sessions. It’s simply making sure you do a few small things every single day to make your body a little stronger. RTF seems to be working for me - my buns are getting pretty tight - but it needs to be mentioned the whole thing was made up by me and my mates Jerry, Mash and the Big Saus. There were no experts involved, it is not a peer-reviewed programme, there were no studies undertaken and my degree is in moral philosophy - so I know nothing. With that in mind, why not implement Rhyme Time Fitness in your workplace today?
The 7:44 Pelvic floor. It doesn’t matter where you are, at home, in your car or at your desk, you can run kegels. Just squeeze the muscles you use to stop urine flow, hold for five seconds, and then release. Repeat this cycle fifteen times. It’s a simple way to support the bladder and the bowel while improving that all-important sexual function. Easy to remember, easy to do, it’s the 7:44 pelvic floor. Do it on your own or recruit others. Everyone in my team is squeezing their urethras in unison and loving it.
The 10 O’clock Squat. Target your glutes, quadriceps, hamstrings, and core together in one slightly humiliating exercise. The yoga squat improves balance and hormone production while burning a few calories. Also known as a garland pose, it’s a posture that involves squatting down low with the feet flat on the ground and the hands in a prayer position in front of the chest. Spread your knees apart wider than your torso. Keep your heels down and toes pointing a sniff outward, and gaze forward, while your elbows press out against your inner thighs. Hold for as long as you can. If people smirk, laugh and question why you are dropping and squatting in the workplace, invite them to join in. It’s way less embarrassing with others involved.
The 12:03 Y and T. A bit of strength activity going before lunch. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, arms at your sides. Then lift your arms straight up in front with palms facing down like a zombie. Hold this “I” position for a 10 count, then move into the ”Y” position with your arms out to the side on the same plane at a 45-degree angle. Hold there for the same time, then go to the “T” position, which is arms out to sides perpendicular to your body. Hold that “T” position, return your arms to your sides and repeat the process 10 times. If it’s too easy, grab two books, chairs, reams or whatever you can get your hands on to make it harder.
The Two O’Clock Buttock. Tone and shape your arse while in your seat at your desk. Simply squeeze your glutes as tight as you can and hold that powerful clench for 10 seconds, relax, then repeat 10 times. Be careful not to make eye contact with others in the office when performing this sexy backside workout, as your facial expression will suggest you’ve soiled your pants or worse.
The 3:36 Kicks. Another clever little exercise with a reasonable chance of secrecy. Sit as tall as possible on your chair with your feet flat on the floor and hold your tummy muscles super tight. Extend your right leg until it is level with your hip. Hold it out there for 10 seconds. Then lower her as slowly as you can. Repeat 10 times and then change the legs. Easy.
Rhyme Time Fitness is a new initiative started last week by myself and three workmates. While it is clearly based more on rhymes than science, it does have a reason. Some exercise is better than nothing. RTF is five easy-to-remember activities that will, over time, strengthen areas of your body. Why not give the 7:44 Pelvic floor, The 10 O’clock Squat, The 12:03 Y and T, The Two O’Clock Buttock and the 3:36 kicks a go daily for the rest of your life?
If you want company, we do the 7:44 Pelvic floor every morning on the Matt and Jerry Breakfast Show on Hauraki. Squeezing your urethra, knowing tens of thousands of other kiwis across the nation are doing it at the same time, is a real buzz. Thoroughly recommend it.
Or follow the show on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your Podcasts.