Last night's
Dancing with the Stars
finale had me in fits and it wasn't just the
Merv Hughes
impersonation that
Chris Hobbs
was bizarrely sporting thanks to a sleazy handle-bar moustache, a snug silk shirt, and accommodating paunch.
Jason Gunn
mused: "I'm loving the moustache." You know somewhere in Albania
Paul Henry
wasn't.
Alison Leonard
's garish necklace and bauble earrings were competing for attention on the judging panel; as was the "international cast of
Mamma Mia
" who performed what seemed an amateurish routine from the musical which is set to open here later in the year. It reminded me of one of those tragic British pantomime productions the Poms love at Christmas. I half expected
Michael Barrymore
to menacingly tip-toe on stage to raucous shrills from the audience screaming, "Look, he's behind you." But the only theatrical Brit present was sitting alongside Leonard and her trinkets to the side of the stage.
Craig Revel-Horwood
has provided some much-needed barbs and bitchiness on the series this year. Loved-up
Brendan Cole
has positively turned into a gushing ninny. And last night was no different. Even CRH got a case of the gushiness, admittedly it was the finale and the two finalists performed wonderful routines. After
Tamati
and
Samantha
's dramatic pase doble, Revel-Horwood cooed in that staccato delivery he's nailed so well: "I ab-so-lute-ly lov-ed it. I couldn't find anything I disliked about it." The pair scored four perfect 10s with that dance.
I'm told
Brendon Pongia
,
Annette Presley
,
Shorty St
's
Kim Crossman
and
Hayley Holt
were in the audience. I saw all the celebrity entrants return for the final, which I suspect is written into their contracts. There was
Geraldine
, the Hobbs siblings, Josh, Lizzy... but no
John Rowles
. Ou est the 62-year-old crooner? Surely he was meant to be there; surely he was contracted to be there. He left the show claiming exhaustion and saying he couldn't hack the rehearsals, but I'd have thought the appearance at the grand final wouldn't have induced much fatigue.
Tamati, as we all know, went on to win the competition despite pulling up four points short of
Barbara
and
Jonny'
s overall score of 117. It came down to the public vote and the public voted for their man. I can't say I'm not pleased.
Ali Mau
reckons she "fist-punched the air" when she heard the news and then shouted an obscenity. Me thinks you've been sitting on that couch with Paul for too long, Ali.
Kendall's performance last night was awe-inspiring, in the manner of those acrobatic performances on
Cirque du Soleil
, but let's not forget it's a popularity competition, and if there's one thing the weather presenter brought to the dance floor, it was a warmth and naturalness that we just wanted a piece of. He's popular. His outstanding performances and his clever tug at the heartstrings in the freestyle section in a nod to the Anzacs, reveals Tamati for the showman entertainer he is.
Weather presenting on
Breakfast
will be a thing of the past now, mark my words. This boy is destined for much bigger things at TVNZ.
Though, I'm not sure
Ronan Keating
is. The
Boyzone
singer performed a schmaltzy rendition of
Time After Time
, a song found on the album he's plugging, hence his primetime appearance. It's a tribute CD to his mother
Marie
who passed away from cancer in 1998. Like
Jonah Lomu
and
Paul Holmes
' attempts at music stardom, it's a compilation album of favourite songs, though Keating's are various tunes he remembers his mum listening to during his childhood. The CD is coming out in time for Mother's Day.
Rachel Glucina
Pictured: Dancing with the Stars winner Tamati Coffey. Photo / Supplied.